YAFF Muse: What They Don't Know

8 Sep

Welcome again to YAFF Muse: blog rounds. The ladies of YA Fiction Fanatics have come together for YAFF Muse. To have a little fun, explore different styles of writing and to give you some kick-butt shorts to read.  Enjoy!

Mexican Souveniers By: haak78

What They Don’t Know

By: R.M.Gilbert

Midnight, I rub sleep from my eyes and twist my neck side to side until I hear the crack of adjustment. The Lucky Mart twenty four hour gas station sign buzzes outside the car window and paints the wet pavement and the hood of the Taurus in its golden yellow glow.

“What the hell is taking him so long?” I mutter and reach between my legs for my purse. Opening the clasp, I push aside the cigs and lighter, grab the pack of spearmint gum and sit upright. A single stick of gum isn’t going to do it tonight. So I chew on two. Anything to get the taste of him out of my mouth. Whatever the deal is with guys and oral—

The door creaks open. He settles into the driver’s seat, sets a paper sack in my lap, and laughs. “The guy didn’t even card me.”

“That’s great,” I say, then blow a bubble as I peek in the bag. “Whiskey?”

He smiles.

“You know this shit makes me sick.”

“More for me.” He dips his fingers in the bag and pulls out the pint. His hands come off the wheel and the car swerves as he opens the bottle. I reach for the wheel to correct the car, but he slaps my hand away. “I’ve got it.”

“Yeah, try to keep it between the lines.”

He grins, tips his head back and takes a long swig. Air bubbles float through the amber liquid with each gulp.

My stomach tightens and I cringe, reminded of my last affair with whiskey at Susie Wheelers party. How it burned the back of my throat, and gave me the worst hangover in after prom party history. I should have stayed at the dance like I told my parents I would, but I couldn’t resist an invitation from Susie’s brother then, just like I can’t resist him now.

I glance over at him. Bottle stuffed between his legs. Black tufts of stringy hair falling over one eye. A goatee, strong cheekbones, and a hard jaw. The local badass. And he is all mine.

“Look what else is in there,” he says.

Reaching in the bag, I fumble around its bottom until my fingers wrap around a small figurine. I pull it out. A little man, carved out of wood, wearing a wooden sombrero. “What is it?” I ask.

He guzzles down more of the whiskey, then says, “I thought we should make your trip to Mexico more believable.”

“God, you think of everything.” I hug the figurine to my chest. Mom and Dad think I’ve taken a road trip with Susie. What they don’t know won’t hurt them, I think and glance out the window as we near the road for home.

The car whizzes through a stop sign. Bright lights blind me and I slam sideways. My screams are deadened by the scrape of twisting metal and the shatter of glass. Mom and Dad’s bloody, expressionless faces in the other vehicle.

What they don’t know can kill them.

©2010, September 8, rmg.

There are times we make decisions and don’t fully understand the consequences. In this weeks YAFF Muse I wanted to show this to the extreme. Sad thing is, this happens. If I had written a lengthier piece the reader would have found out that the girl in this story survives only to find out her parents discovered she wasn’t in Mexico and she’s the reason they were out searching for her that night. I guess you could say the moral of this story is that every action has a consequence.

Thanks for stopping by. Please drop by my fellow YAFFers blogs and don’t forget to leave a comment.

Rebekah L. Purdy

Traci Kenworth

Vanessa Barger

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6 Responses to “YAFF Muse: What They Don't Know”

  1. Rebekah L Purdy September 8, 2010 at 9:29 am #

    Rachel,
    As always, great job. Loved your voice in this one, you captured the MC really-really well! And I like that you show us that she’s done things like this before with this guy (the sneaking out).

  2. Vanessa Barger September 8, 2010 at 9:31 am #

    Wow. I really like this one. The raw, gritty feeling of it and the shocker ending. It really illustrates what you’re trying to say without bashing you over the head. AND its awesomely written to boot!

  3. Min September 8, 2010 at 12:36 pm #

    Excellent job lady. Love the darker side and the message at the end. A pleasure to read, as always. 🙂

  4. Jennifer Shirk September 8, 2010 at 2:49 pm #

    Wonderful piece. Although very sad.

  5. Cambria Dillon September 8, 2010 at 3:19 pm #

    Loved the details (the air bubbles in the whiskey were great). And I liked the twist at the end. Poor kid. She’ll be regretting the local badass forever. Great job!

  6. R.M.Gilbert September 9, 2010 at 9:19 am #

    Thanks so much for stopping in everyone. I’m glad you enjoyed the short. This picture took a bit more effort, but I was pretty happy with the end result.

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