YAFF Muse is Back: School Daze

12 Jan

YAFF Muse is back!!! Welcome again to YAFF Muse: blog rounds. The ladies of YA Fiction Fanatics have come together for YAFF Muse. To have a little fun, explore different styles of writing and to give you some kick-butt shorts to read.  Enjoy!

Raygun by wintersixfour

School Daze

By Rachel Marie Pratt

Some schools have rules. Others have a code of ethics. This school—my school— has zero tolerance.

The gymnasium fills with teachers and students for today’s Call to Discipline. Despite the thousand plus in attendance to the afternoons event, the room is completely silent. Not that anyone would dare to make a noise during such an assembly. To do so would bring about great consequences.

Already there are several of us waiting in line to be punished when Principal Shuster crosses the gymnasium. Everyone joins together in showing support. Like a synchronized beat we clap. Clap.Clap.Clap.Clap.Clap.

He takes his place behind the podium. His hands part in the air and the room falls silent again.

“Welcome students. Faculty.” Shuster begins. “Here at Redwood we pride ourselves on the conduct of our students. Many of you were left in the guardianship of the school, because your parents saw the need for structure and accountability in a world drowning in its own sin and disregard. Redwood was built on discipline, with a defined set of ideals. It is through the constant application of these principles we maintain a safe environment and quality of living your parents dreamed for you.” He holds the schools commandments in his hand. All 3041 ways a student can earn a place in the Offenders Line. “Without further delay, let the Call to Discipline commence.” Shuster steps down. And in his place is Eli Manager, who we call “the executioner.”

“Francie Dressler,” he says.

The sound of my name being called reverberates off the high ceiling. Every muscle in my body tightens. I plant my feet firmly on the floor, but I’m no match for the two guards selected to bring me forward. At the center of the gymnasium, a third guard takes hold of my legs and I’m lifted onto a cool, metal slab. As if this hardened table has a memory, images of the tortures preformed here flood my mind.

“Please, don’t let them do this!” I plead with my classmates, to help me. Even though I know nobody will stop the events happening here today. I can’t blame them I’ve been where they are now. And I’ve done nothing the same as they will do nothing. Still, my yells persist until a rubber muzzle is placed over my mouth and secured to the back of my head, deadening my cries.

I thrust my head from side to side. The muzzle is like a vise squeezing my mouth closed until it feels as though my teeth are going to shatter like glass.

“I invoke the first commandment of Redwood: Tardiness will not be tolerated.”

Blinded by a glaring white light overhead, I shift my gaze to the side. A cart draws forward in my direct line of sight.

The Executioner takes his place at my side. He chooses his device of discipline. It’s one I’ve never seen before. It looks like a toy gun. But I know better, this is not a toy.

“Hold her still,” he instructs as the device whirs to life. A six inch needle shoots out. “You like my newest invention?”

© 2011, January 11, rmp. (rmg)

This muse came to me after I decided to steer from the b-rate sci-fi movie idea. In the end, I’m happy with the results. And VERY glad I didn’t attend Redwood.

Thanks for coming by. Please be sure to drop by my fellow YAFFers blogs and don’t forget to leave a comment. This will be our last Muse until after the holidays! But make sure you check back after the first of the year for more YAFF MUSE!

Miranda Buchanan

Rebekah L. Purdy

Traci Kenworth

Vanessa Barger


10 Responses to “YAFF Muse is Back: School Daze”

  1. rebekahlpurdy January 12, 2011 at 1:49 pm #

    Loved this take on the picture. I like that you MC is watching everyone loading in, and knowing that she’ll be the one to be punished. You really built up the intensity well. I also liked the commandments/punishments. Great job. I could see this being a full MS at some point (in other words, put this one away to continue–LOL).

    • rachelmariepratt January 12, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

      Thanks. I could see this going somewhere. All I have to do now is finish my two current WIP’s. I appreciate you coming by.

  2. Vanessa January 12, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    Wow. Glad I don’t teach at that school – I’d be up there with the kids! Creepy and very nice sci fi. Love it!

    • Rachel Marie Pratt January 12, 2011 at 6:22 pm #

      Thanks Vanessa! I think you would love teaching at Redwood. All of the kids are too afraid to overstep. 😉

  3. Joey January 12, 2011 at 5:59 pm #

    And I thought my high school was bad. Well I hope you do continue this at some point. Very interesting read. I can see a revolt happening in the future.

    • Rachel Marie Pratt January 12, 2011 at 6:25 pm #

      Definitely a revolt on the horizon. Though, if I wrote this it would be a series…probably beginning with how the world went to hell and dying parents left their children in the school’s care to begin with.

      Thanks for reading.

  4. Miranda Buchanan January 13, 2011 at 1:55 am #

    FAB job lady! I really liked it. Super creepy you had my heart racing the entire time. Wonderful! And I’m glad I didn’t go to Redwood too!

    • rachelmariepratt January 15, 2011 at 12:04 pm #

      Thanks Min! Glad you enjoyed it. I like the idea of a creepy school. 🙂

  5. tracikenworth January 13, 2011 at 2:18 pm #

    Rachel, that was scary and awesome!! I’d hate to see what they did for the other commandments!! Egads.

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